Snippet #30

Megalomania.

Power Lust.

Just a second to convert arrogance to frantic hysteria. When every ‘I want’ got bracketed by “I need,” and the moment of truth etched in silence highlighted the absence of peace. Quiet Havoc raging, a pantomime I couldn’t control but I loved the characters, lived in their voices so I joined them and let it go on.

We stood close together yet far enough that no shoulders touched. For this was a war we raged within ourselves and our souls, battered and exhausted, got rattled by much. This space between our shoulders,  between a feeling of loss and a whisper of strength filled like a blue cavity, a dead weight on my chest. Deadly, painful weight on my chest. Breathing got difficult and eyes burned with the need to well up hence I built a wall against this traitorous heart because his power meant too much. My love, my respect for him- not enough. 

So I joined forces with with the soldiers of tranquillity, till he reflected in wonder and marveled at my placid indifference. He shouted, threw a fit and everything he did mirrored within these four walls, each character in the play became his mimic. Blue walls became our audience and my fears held our strings. It took some time for me to practice defiance and I began it by sharing Fluency In Silence.

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